Loving, Never Loved
by Autumn Jester of Nevermore
Summary: Tori?" "Yes, Sarah?" "Why can't I see you?" "Because Sarah, I'm dead. "Tori?" "Yes, Sarah?" "I'm Sorry." I never ment to let Tori die, but maybe she's giving me a second chance. In the form of two Irishmen. ON HOLD! NO Insperation for story
1. In the Beginning

**OK You'r real names are Sarah and Victoria, you both however call eachother by the names the residents of south Boston gave you as kids. Sarah is Baibre and Victoria is Gerde. Disclaimer: I dont own Boondock Saints if I did I would be the happiest person on the freakin planet! I do however own Sarah, Tori belongs to...well..Tori.**

"OK, Gerde can you tell me why exactly it is we are locked out of our apartment building? Not only locked out but outside, at midnight, in the middle of South Boston, and it being FREAKIN RAINING?" your voice slowly got louder as you grew more frustrated with the very unappealing and unwelcome predicament. The rain had already plastered your long black bangs it your face and neck, sadly it was moments like this that you were glad the rest of it was short enough for people to mistake you for a boy. "I'm sorry Baibre, I thought I had my keys…I knew you didn't feel well and I shouldn't have dragged you outside in the rain." Your shorter and more feminine friend stated sadly, glancing over at her with red rimmed tired eyes you could already see that the rain had caused her once straightened hair to revert to its former frizzy glory and her eyes were burdened with guilt. "Hey don't worry about it I feel fine, no harm done all we need to do is ring Jacob and have him let us in." You gave her a reassuring smile that didn't last long as a massive fit of coughs erupted out of your body. "Bai! Bai! Are you alright?!" Gerde was instantly at your side with her hand on your back for comfort, "I'm fine Ger, try Jacob and see if he's home I don't feel so well…" You leaned against the building as Gerde frantically ran to the apartment's outdated call box and pressed the button to Jacob's house.

Saints POV

At this moment both brothers were cursing their bad luck that it was their turn to buy beer. Their luck would have it that Da had taken the last while they were on their last hit the night before. "Hey Conner, has Smecker gotten' any new hits for us?" the darker haired brother looked at his lighter haired sibling, the one named Conner gave a huge sigh before answering "Murphy if he had Da would've told ye'. Now can ye' quit asking dumb fuckin' questions and open the door? I'm fuckin' freezing." Murphy glared at his brother but opened the door none-the-less, just then as both brothers were almost inside they heard a person scream and another yell "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!!" Both Irishmen looked at each other before dropping the beer cans and running toward the shouts pulling out both ski masks and guns as they ran.

**Ok, what did ya think so far? I'll update again when I can (I'm moving) BTW: Bai and Ger are short for Baibre and Gerde. Bai is pronounced Buy and Ger is pronounced Grr..Thanks! Review if you please but no flames ok...I already have low self esteem I dont need people telling me my stories suck.**


	2. Getting Out Alive

"Has Jacob answered yet Gerde?" you called around the corner to your now soaked friend "Sorry Bai, I don't think he's home." "_Damn it, of all the times for him to be out clubbing." _ You thought bitterly. "Hey Ger let me try for a minute you get over here out of the rain" patting your friend on the shoulder as you took the spot she had occupied, "The spot right there had enough cover so you won't get sick from the cold too. I can't take care of the two of us if we're both sick." You pointed to a spot right inside the alleyway far enough back so the rain didn't blow on her, but close enough to the front so you could see her. The reason behind this? Well, Gerde didn't have the best of luck. You two had been friends since birth and ever since you were old enough to throw a punch you have been protecting her. You loved her like a sister and if anything ever happened to her or if anyone hurt her, you would be there cracking your knuckles and seeking revenge on her wrong doers. You had even started martial arts and was currently the second highest belt rank in the Do Jo, the first being your head master.

**"**Come on Jacob! Where in the hell are you?" growling angrily at the outdated call box you didn't notice the three men quietly sneaking down the other end of the alleyway growing steadily closer with each step. It was Gerde's scream as the men grabbed her that brought the new danger to your attention. Immediately you tore down the alley and with all the strength you had left in your cold wracked, abused throat you yelled, "Get the hell away from her!" The scene before you left a cold burning hatred in your stomach and mouth. Two of the men were now closer to your end of the alleyway while one was in the middle holding your best friend by her neck with a gun pointed to her head. Narrowing your eyes you repeated your last sentence again, after all their crack abused minds may not have gotten the hint the first time. "I said get the hell away from her" reaching into your pocket you grabbed the one weapon that you had thought to bring along, it was a Whip Chain, a length of metal chains with a pointed cone shaped weight at one end and a heavy ball shaped weight at the other your chain itself was about seven feet long.

"What are you gonna do to us if we don't? Call the cops? Oh! Oh! Officer help us please!" the man nearest you mocked in a girlish voice, the other in response began to laugh drunkenly. A wicked smile appeared on your lips as a spiteful cold laugh erupted from your mouth and echoed eerily around the alley, immediately the men stopped laughing "What're you laughing at bitch!" one snarled. You chuckled before answering "Oh nothing, I just find it amusing that you think after abducting my friend, endangering her life, and insulting my intelligence that you think you will get out of this alley alive." Smiling you pulled out your Whip Chain as the first man threw a punch at your face.

Saints POV

"Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!" Murphy was cursing up a storm because the brothers after their initial, drop everything and run to the rescue, adrenalin had worn off they realized they couldn't locate the source of the screams. Connor looked around frantically and silently praying that an innocent hadn't been hurt already due to their stupidity. Both brothers soon found the area they were looking for as a cold demented laugh echoed out of one of the alleys. After a short chorus of "fuck" from both McManus boys they were off and running to the entrance of the soon-to-be battleground. However, what neither was expecting was the woman at the other end of the alley to be standing there seemingly weaponless against two men while her friend was pinned to the wall by another. Both Irishmen however heard her last sentence before the man nearest her threw the first punch.


	3. Just the Prologue

**I don't own the Boondock Saints (Though I wish I did X3) and I probably never will (cries) ANYWAY! Here's the third installment of "Loving, Never Loved." BTW I will NOT be referring to my characters by their nicknames anymore just by Sarah and Victoria.**

The fist flew at your face hard and fast. Though you had years of training under your belt and your best friend's danger as motivation, the severe cold, which was swiftly moving toward Pneumonia, slowed your reflexes greatly. This realization came with the excessive pain now in your jaw and upper neck as the drunkards fist impacted with your face. His strength seemed to be double that of a normal person for the blow dropped you to your knees and a small corner of your mind registered Victoria's voice screaming "Sarah!". Though the blow stunned you, you weren't "out for the count" and you used your new vantage point as a way to bring the assaulting male to the ground with a swift kick to the back of his knees his body being a perfect "T" to yours. He rolled onto his back muttering curse words under his breath while his comrades laughed at his misfortune. With that though in mind you swung your leg straight up and sent it crashing back down onto his rib cage and a sickening _crack _as his ribs gave under the force of the blow. He emitted a gurgling scream of pain and his friends laughter ceased immediately. You made your way to your feet slowly and gazed at the other two assailants, only to be surprised at the fact that Victoria's assailant was nowhere to be seen and in his place stood two other men helping the quivering girl to her feet the other male closest to you had yet to realize he was now alone. The still squishy screams from the man you had just retaliated against were now starting to annoy you and a swift kick the right side of his head quickly silenced him, sending the whole alley way into a deadly silence. The silence was so thick it was suffocating, it was broken too soon however when the still standing man in front of you pulled out a gun, cocked it, and pointed it at your chest.

Saints POV

Both brothers had winced at the force of the impact that the mans fist had collided with the side of your face and sent you to the ground. However, both were distracted when the thug closest to them had cocked the gun at the other girls head and told her to turn and walk. This sent him into both of the brothers waiting arms and guns. Murphy quickly grabbed the small girl and Connor disposed of him quickly out side the alley, muttering the family prayer and silencing the mans muffled pleas of mercy with a quick shot to the head. Connor re-entered the alley just in time to see the taller woman's foot impact with the mans rib cage and her start to stand on her feet. The smaller woman pulled on his sleeve tentatively as though he would attack her like a rabid dog. He leaned to he level so she could whisper something into his ear, "Please help Sarah, she can't fight like this! She's too sick! She shouldn't even be outside right now!" he could hear the panic and worry for her friend in his voice. It was Murphy's sharp intake of breath that he looked up only to see the last remaining man had pulled a gun and was now holding it level with Sarah's chest. Murphy could feel the smaller woman trembling in his arms and then she did something that neither McManus had expected her to do. She wrenched herself from Murphy's grasp and ran straight toward the man holding the gun to your chest screaming "Please Stop! Don't Shoot Her Please!" as she closed the distance between herself and the gunman.

Your POV

"Please Stop! Don't Shoot Her Please!" your gaze jerked up in time to see Victoria running straight at the gunman while the other two men behind her were now starting to race forward in attempt to catch her. "Victoria! NO!" you yelled out to her you couldn't help it she was running from the pan straight into the fire and at this moment she might as well be covered in lighter fluid. The man in front of you turned and in a startled movement pulled the trigger, while itself was at the level of your chest when he fired Victoria was a much shorter woman and the gun was at her head level. She didn't stand a chance the bullet had pierced her skull and she was dead before she hit the ground. "VICTORIA!" you launched yourself at the man before you as you cried her name. All your training and even your weapon were forgotten as you used your nails as claws in attempt to cause him the same pain you felt ripping through your heart at the sight of your friends limp body on the concrete ground. He screeched in pain as one of your fingers found his eye and another clawed at his cheek, he swiftly pulled the gun around and fired a round into your shoulder.

The force knocked you back as you screamed at the pain searing its way through your body. The cold, hard ground provided no comfort, though a small part of your brain registered two more gunshots and the sound of a body hitting the rain drenched pavement with a wet plop. A warm set of arms found their way around your waist pulling you into someone's lap, and all you could see were beautiful blue eyes staring down at you with mixed feelings of fear, hatred, and sorrow swirling in their depths. A panicked voice found its way to your ears, the other male was obviously talking to someone on a cell phone, the male holding you pulled off his black ski mask that was obscuring all but his blue eyes to reveal short light brown hair and lightly tanned skin. He finally spoke to you after what seemed to you to have been hours but was actually seconds, the question was garbled though as a new wave of pain coursed through your body causing you to cry out. He quickly turned to the other male and said "Murph! Tell Da 'ta get here quick we need 'ta get the bullet out! She's not lookin' good!" he then turned back to you. "What's yer name sweetheart?" he was trying to keep you conscious fearing that if you fell asleep that you wouldn't wake up, you gritted your teeth as another wave of pain crawled through your body. You could feel the warmth of your blood mixing with the warmth that was coming off the man holding you and before the blackness clouding your vision took over you replied with a line from Victoria's favorite song "I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue." and with that your vision clouded over as your mind slipped into darkness.

**Well there it is...I think it sucks. Oh well, if any of my few readers who still care about this story have any good ideas for the story I would love an email or something. The only stupid idea is an idea that is not suggested!**


	4. Relax & Relapse

"_Tori?"_

"_Yes, Sarah?"_

"_Why can't I see you?"_

"_Because I'm dead Sarah."_

You felt her take hold of your hand, _"Tori?"_

Your lifelong best friend smiled at you patiently, then answered _"Yes, Sarah?"_

"_I'm Sorry…" _Tori smiled sadly at you, _"You need to wake up Sarah. Let them know your ok."_

"_Who?"_

That patient smile again, the smile you loved _"Your Saints."_ As she said this she seemed to fade away.

* * *

Where those sirens? No, someone was screaming…who was screaming? Silence. The screams stopped, other voices pushed at your ears. Strained voices begging to be heard, "C'mon lass. Wake up…we need ye ta wake up now." A man he had a wonderful voice, soft but guff. You forced your eyes open only to hiss between you teeth and slam them shut again.

"What's wrong with 'er?" a lighter male voice to the side of you asked, "It too bright fer 'er, Connor turn off the living room lights and jus leave on da one above da sink."

A faint click told you that these demands from the obviously older male were met. "Ok lass, ye can open yer eyes now." Your left eye cracked open cautiously, showing the dark brown beneath then opened fully before being joined by the right eye.

You found yourself looking up at three male faces. To your left was an older man probably late forties early fifties, with kind green/gray eyes, and a curly graying beard. You felt a slight pressure on your left hand and quickly looked down, to see his hand holding yours.

Then you looked to the other two, you remembered one of them. The one with the lighter brown hair and blue eyes had been the one holding you in the alley. You could safely assume the one next to him was his brother; they looked almost alike except the other hand dark brown and clear green eyes.

And as al good things must come to an end you soon became sick of them looking down at you, you didn't know why but for some reason you needed to see yes level with people to talk to them. And with this annoyance in your head you tried to sit up.

Well…tried being the key word. You don't really know what happened first, it was either the searing pain in your shoulder and upper chest or all three men moving in unison to carefully push you back down but either way you ended up on your back again, except this time in lots of pain and tears running down your cheeks.

"S-son of b-bitch!" they all stopped and looked at you. The elder man leaned over you with a small smile on his face. "Aye lass, that about sums it up. It hurts like hell don it?"

You shook you head in agreement gritting your teeth against the pain.

"Murph, get 'er some sedatives, those strong ones that Smecker gave us. And Conn can ye get 'er a glass of water? Thank ye."

You turned your head to watch them move about the small kitchen. Only then realizing that you where laying on the kitchen table, but you were quickly snapped out of your reverie when the older man quickly slid his arm under your back and sat you up abruptly.

A pained cry tore from your throat as he propped you against his chest and the other two men approached. The dark haired one tried to get you to open your mouth, fully intent on putting the pills in your mouth for you but you took them from him with your shaky uninjured hand. Then before any complaints could be made you quickly tipped back your head and swallowed them without water.

The older man gently turned you and placed you back in your previous position. "Sorry lass. But ye gotta sleep now. We don want ye ta move about while we're tryin ta fix ye up."

However all he gat was a sleepy "Ummmmhumm…"as you were starting to drift off.

* * *

"_Tori?"_

"_Yes, Sarah?"_

"_Why can't I find you?"_

"_Because Sarah, I'm dead."_

"…_Tori?"_

"_Yes, Sarah?"_

"_I'm Sorry."_


	5. Attack

**Sorry these stories have been so short, I'm kinda losing intrest in this story so I might not update for a while. But I promise to back as soon as The Dresden Files gets its claws out of my mind, and out of my hamster. XD**

* * *

"_Tori?"_

"_Yes Sarah?"_

"_Do you think I'll ever find love?"_

Your best friend ran her hand through your short black hair, making your bangs flutter into your face annoyingly.

"_Yes Sarah, I do."_

"_How do you know Tori?"_

"_Because Sarah you're too precious to not be loved."_

* * *

The voices were there again. You could barely hear them through the thick haze of drugs and possibly blood loss. The Irish accents weren't helping either; you could hardly make out what they were saying. 

You cautiously opened your eyes remembering what happened last time with the blinding light. Three…no four male backs were facing you three of the men where arguing, their Irish accents thickening in annoyance, as the fourth male in a pale tan colored suit stood listening to the conversation.

You opened your mouth to talk, but the only thing that came out was a small squeak, your throat was so dry it felt as if you had cotton balls in your cheeks and you had eaten chalk for three days straight. You quickly swallowed in an attempt to get some moisture to your throat and tried again "H-hello?" Well you got out one word, and tried to get out another but since your throat was so dry you broke into a coughing fit instead.

Although the men hadn't heard you before, they clearly heard you now because the fight immediately stopped and someone helped you into a sitting position. Another person handed you a glass of water which you quickly downed but where still coughing, "What's wrong with her?" came an annoyed unaccented voice. "M-my coat! I-I need my coat!" you quickly blurted out in-between coughs.

The older man you recognized from before quickly handed it to you as the lighter haired man rubbed circles on your back. The darker haired man stood off to the side looking worried and uncomfortable with the prissy man standing next to him. Quickly diving your hand into a small internal pocket, you drew out a small "L" shaped plastic inhaler. After two quick puffs from the inhaler you felt the muscles in your throat relax and allow you to breathe normally.

You leaned back, realizing you were now on the couch instead of the kitchen table as you had previously been, and took a few deep breaths to stop another attack from coming on.

Gripping the small plastic object you opened your eyes and looked around at the men in the room, "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." You said sounding slightly like you had run a marathon. "What was tha'?" you turned to look at the darker haired man off to your right side.

"I have asthma. I guess the coughing made me have an attack." This time the lighter haired man spoke up, "What's asthma?"

As you opened your mouth to speak prissy man in the corner answered the question for you, "It's a usually hereditary disease that affects breathing." You hated people explaining your problem so you interrupted him "The muscles in my throat will have spasms and constrict causing me to not be able to breath." You quoted exactly what your family doctor had said when he first told you when it had developed in you.

You went to stand using your left arm that had remained limp at your side during this whole escapade, but quickly fell back onto the none-to-soft couch when a searing pain tore its way up your shoulder and your arm gave out. You let out a pained hiss that would have shamed any cheesy Hollywood vampire and cradled your arm in your lap.

* * *

_"Tori?"_

_"Yes Sarah?"_

_"Do you think I'll ever find love?"_

Your best friend ran her hand through your short black hair, making your bangs flutter into your face annoyingly

_"Yes Sarah, I do."_

_"How do you know?"_

_"Because Sarah, I love you."_


End file.
